Qualities to Look for in a Romantic Partner

Do you remember your first crush? Why were you attracted to them? At the time perhaps it was based on something superficial, or perhaps it related to a character quality that impressed you.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, we think about the quality of our romantic relationships. Everyone wants to be loved and to love others as well. 

Experts say opposites attract. While that may be true about personality traits, it’s good to share some common values. You don’t want you and your mate to be polar opposites in everything. You need compatibility. 

In ISP’s DreamMakers-DreamBreakers curriculum for secondary students, we help students recognize traits of healthy romantic relationships and ask them to think about what they want in a mate before they become romantically involved.  

This lesson can be used by adults as well! If you are single, these concepts help you sharpen your dreams and desires for a future partner. 

Here are five categories of questions you can think about from the What Do You Want in A Mate? lesson.  

  • What personality traits do you want your mate to have? (Funny? Friendly? Serious?)
  • What do you want them to look like? (Tall? Dark? Handsome?)
  • What type of family do you want them to be from? (From a large, close family?  From a small family?)
  • What are their morals? (Doesn’t get drunk, Doesn’t use drugs)
  • What are their goals and dreams? (To have children, To live in the suburbs, To obtain a Master’s Degree) 

You can ask these questions, too. Brainstorm several specific details about your ideal mate. Choose the top character qualities you desire. Mark traits that are non-negotiable, strong preferences, and flexible.  

As you think about these things, consider if you are already the kind of person you are hoping to marry. Are there any qualities you want to develop in yourself to become that person? Determine one or two areas where you can grow and match the qualities you desire in an ideal mate.

May this Valentine’s Day help you move forward in finding your true love.

Download a free sample of the “What do you want in a mate?” lesson now!

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